ITEMS I'D HAVE A BUTLER BRING ME, RANKED IN ORDER OF USELESSNESS

Please note I'd ONLY have him bring me this stuff after he brought me all the useful stuff like phone chargers, sunscreen and champagne.
  1. 1.
    My work cell phone.
    If I have enough money to employ a butler I've obviously quit my job and no longer need a second phone.
  2. 2.
    Pumpkin spice anything.
  3. 3.
    The random cassette tape I found in my closet the other day.
    It was a Paula Abdul album. I am not ashamed that I bought it, I just wonder why I still have it since I can now just listen to it on Spotify.
  4. 4.
    My winter ball dress from high school.
    Because every once in a while I like to see if I can still fit in it. As of now I can but the results aren't pretty.
  5. 5.
    Ostrich pillow.