things I have already had to teach my roommate Heidi about this month

I don't know how she was a functional member of society without me
  1. "netflix and chill"
  2. that you can slide your texts to the right and see the times each individual one was sent
  3. 🍆
  4. 🍑
  5. "the D"
  6. that you can't use the turn signals in my car because once they start, they don't stop blinking/spazzing out for like 15 minutes
  7. that watching Scott's Tots is the most uncomfortable a person can be
  8. that Gwyneth Paltrow is an insufferable idiot