Setting: Corporate team at Victoria's Secret pitch ideas in main conference room.
  1. Thank you all for gathering in this meeting today.
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  2. I called you in here because sales are down and we need to switch branding to penetrate an untapped niche market.
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  3. Let's begin with a roundtable discussion for ideas on a profitable campaign.
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  4. Since Valentine's Day is coming up, we are shooting for sales to cover our deficit from the fiscal year.
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  5. As a competitive fashion retailer, we need to think in the minds of the consumer.
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  6. So I will start with the basic premise:
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  7. "What do women love more than anything?"
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  8. Flowers, chocolates, diamonds, commitment...
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  9. But we produce CLOTHING, Peggy. Please come back when you are more prepared. You are dismissed.
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  10. Maybe the better question is:
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  11. "What do men love more than anything?"
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  12. *silence*
  13. BOOBS.
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  14. Breasts? I don't understand. It's just a vessel to hold in milk for babies.
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  15. Yes, but it's the dads that play with them.
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  16. Excellent point. I like the path we're venturing towards. Continue on, Don.
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  17. Well, I believe that by strategically placing pads on the underside of a cup-like structure, we can "push up" these goods to further enhance the pillowy fullness of a woman's curves.
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  18. But won't that look like it doesn't fit? I will not have my reputation tarnished for ill-fitting garments.
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  19. Just hear me out, sir.
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  20. This will pay tribute to the perfection of these plush fat storage centers (whether or not this clothing is necessary), therefore boosting sales.
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  21. To embody the feminine characteristics of a woman's body, we will adorn the cups with embellished lace. Bitches love frilly shit.
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  22. But if this will benefit men, as you say, what's the point of creating this if it's only going to be taken off?
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  23. It's like a present, sir. Part of the thrill is opening it up to find out what's underneath. It's the anticipation that leaves the mind to the imagination.
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  24. I see. I think we have a winner here.
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  25. And what will we call this emerging product for its launch?
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  26. Brassiere.
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  27. Now you're just being pretentious, Don.
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