Thank you @jennamarie for the list request!
  1. You remind me of a garbage disposal.
    Because I eat anything and everything. (Nickname originated in high school)
  2. Your body type resembles a pre-pubescent boy.
    Yeah, I'm still waiting for my balls to drop.
  3. You look intimidating, but you're actually very sweet!
    Ice queens have feelings too.
  4. You are very mature for your age.
    Plot twist: I'm actually a 60 year old who uses a really expensive night cream.