Ways I Would Describe Myself at Every Age I've Been So Far

  1. 1.
    confused
  2. 2.
    overstimulated
  3. 3.
    little-sister
  4. 4.
    big-sister
  5. 5.
    extremely good at coloring and not humble about it
  6. 6.
    aspiring figure skater despite complete lack of flexibility
  7. 7.
    new kid in school
  8. 8.
    very into detailed character backgrounds and plot lines when playing with barbies or American Girl dolls
  9. 9.
    an overnight community theater sensation
  10. 10.
    got "presidential" on every part of the fitness test except sit-and-reach. did not receive presidential fitness award
  11. 11.
    donated my hair and immediately regretted it
  12. 12.
    had to move from the varsity basketball team to JV because JV practice schedule didn't conflict with show choir
  13. 13.
    a lot of metal things near my face at all times
    (braces, bobby pins, obnoxious earrings)
  14. 14.
    placed third in state track meet because I weighed 90 lbs and the wind blew me across the finish line
  15. 15.
    short stint in a band, came close to dating 3/4 members (4th member was 3rd members dad)
  16. 16.
    ate a lot of lasagna and did a lot of vacuuming when both parents were in the hospital
  17. 17.
    got a boyfriend and was embarrassed about it
  18. 18.
    applied exclusively to colleges that were 8+ hours away from home
  19. 19.
    thought that if you grinded with a guy at a party for more than two songs you were obligated to give him a blow job
  20. 20.
    was painfully unimpressed with marijuana, pregames, and joining a sorority, but participated anyway
  21. 21.
    called one of the numbers a hot customer left me on his bar receipt and helped him emotionally cheat on his girlfriend for awhile
  22. 22.
    burst into tears multiple times during a grad school interview
  23. 23.
    exclusively the oldest or youngest person in the room and nobody is shy about calling attention to it