The Princess Diarist

I just received my copy of what is now Carrie Fisher's final book. And I'm having problems.
  1. I want to read it quickly.
    For one thing, I love her prose anyway and want to devour it.
  2. Reading it quickly will somehow tether her to this earth.
  3. I want to savor it.
    I'm a slow reader by nature so this works for me.
  4. I don't want to finish it....
    ..for some reason, as another method to keep her here. We don't finish reading it, she stays.
  5. At some point, the end of the book are the last words she'll write to us.
    She is my favorite author. She takes the tricks and makes it less trivial. Her word play is the stuff of legends. It seems so ridiculous, but to finish the book will be to let her go.
  6. The point?
    I don't consider my reaction to her passing (or her mother's) "celebrity worship". Carrie's nonfiction made her life yours, in a way. Her tendency to let you into her world is what made you look past Princess Leia. She loved all those in her life, despite the circumstances. She IS my hero, and letting your hero go is just not easy.
  7. The first book I'm reading this year.
    I try not to lend too much symbolism to my life. But it happens anyway. The first book I read last year turned out to be significant to my life in the course of the year. Just not in a way I expected. I can't wait to see that happen again. Thank you, Carrie.