- •On infections:"This is it. This is time where I have to cut off my finger/leg/toe/arm/ear."
- •On dating:"Why did I just say that? That was dumb. But was it dumb? He's done with me now. But is he?"
- •On eating:"I'm so healthy. I ate a salad for lunch! I deserve to reward myself. This ice cream pint will do nicely."
- •On shopping:"I just got dumped. I DESERVE these shoes."
- •On liquid eyeliner:"I've got this."