Things I Shouldn't Do While Sick and Delirious

  1. Make a list
    It's all downhill from here
  2. Message dudes on Tinder
    Just sent a little ditty about the Cronutsville Cougars and whether this ragtag team of pastry loving women over fifty will make it to the playoffs
  3. Leave my house
    Especially not to go to 7-11
  4. Have convo with cashier at 7-11
    "Do you have a headache?" "I've got SOMETHING hahahaha" (wobbles away)
  5. Buy too much ice cream, eat too much ice cream
    Adding "tummy ache" to list of symptoms on webmd
  6. Go on WebMD
    no less than three fatal diseases or your money back, Sam
  7. WHO IS SAM
  8. Goodnight
    It's 1pm