THINGS I'VE SEEN WHILE IN FLORIDA

It may be the Ft. Lauderdale/Greater Miami area, but it is still The South
  1. A 20 something year old kid wearing a shirt with a confederate flag that read "Don't Judge What You Can't Understand"
    At hipster pizza place no less, I hope your grandparents gave you that shit
  2. A pizza place (as mentioned above) called "BLAZE PIZZA" with a tag line that read "How do you blaze?"
    preferably with a nice, fat j, but lemme tell ya, if I could blaze pizza, I would
  3. "LifeWay": a Christian Store
  4. Ten froyo places within a few strip malls of each other
    I counted
  5. Old people walking in the middle of the street
  6. Lots of locals wearing pants and long sleeve shirts
    it was 100 degrees today
  7. Cuban AND Puerto Rican bread
    .... alright
  8. Six dollar Yellow Tail wine bottles
    fuck my underage ass and my moms conviction that I am an alcoholic