Reasons Ben Is Sleeping in My Apartment Tonight

  1. He just wants me for my body
  2. He has often been confused for a homeless lesbian
  3. His girlfriend is busy
    And I am his mistress ( alá Downtown Abby)
  4. He is an old woman and can't stay up late enough while his girlfriend is out till 1 am
  5. He needs his beauty sleep
  6. He has surrendered to my tender caresses
  7. Couches are his second homes
  8. He feels most comfortable in a gay home
    ( ask his girlfriend )