Things I Envy

  1. People who can honestly enjoy green smoothies
  2. That couple on the 1 who look painfully cute in their fucking knit beanies
  3. Deborah, who is gonna get fucked when she gets home
    ( Deborah is the lady in the fucking cute knit beanie next to me texting her boyfriend, who is right across from her)
  4. The blissfully unaware
  5. The lucky bastards who get to taste test bagels