I HAVE A COLD.

No! It cannot be! But it can. IT BE. Here's how I know:
  1. That sneeze that refused to leave my head as we drove home from the gym has now settled in and invited its entire family to stay.
    *I was right not to want to be without tissues for even a moment!
  2. My eyes are doing that watery, desperate to close thing.
  3. My nose is already red and raw from tissue-use.
  4. I took some Tylenol Cold Non-Drowsy Daytime.
    Which I do not take lightly.
  5. On the one hand, I'm happy I got through the holidays without being sick.
  6. But on the other hand, why should I have to be Suzie Brightside about being sick?
  7. At the same time...
  8. What is a cold, really?
  9. A runny nose?
    Big whoop.
  10. Watery eyes?
    Deal with it, eyes.
  11. Head full of congestion?
    Hey, that's redundant! I think.
  12. This cold can eat shit. I'm fine. I'm unstoppable. Watch how little it slows me down!
    I think the Tylenol is kicking in.