My Outfit Essentials

If you wanna dress like a wannabe punk who is actually more of a shy grandma, this is for you.
  1. 1.
    Colorful, patterned socks
    The day I stopped wearing plain black and white socks was the day I became a woman. I pretty much ONLY have stupid, gimmicky socks in my drawer. Business on top, party on the bottom. I particularly love socks from The Sock Drawer, like these that I'm currently wearing with smiling teeth. Why are the teeth so happy? Who fucking knows.
  2. 2.
    Maroon beanie
    This beanie is practically attached to my head. The best part of donning a beanie is that you get to hide how messed up your hair is underneath it. I wear this EVERYWHERE: work, restaurants, to sleep if I'm extra lazy. I don't know if my boyfriend's 2 year old nephew has seen me without it.
  3. 3.
    Fake plugs
    I'm a pretty big weenie (my using that word proves that), but I love the look of a chunky hole in the ear. I'm serious. They are, to me, a pinnacle of being badass. Because I'm not actually badass, I have to fake it with faux plugs that I actually get complimented on regularly.
  4. 4.
    Various coats
    I'm always wearing a coat, and people are always yelling at me for it. They're comfy! Like a wearable blanket that isn't a snuggie! Why would I want to take it off? Plus, it's covered it my cat's hair which is a huge bonus. Right know I'm pretty akin to this Champion jacket I got for hiking.