THINGS THAT ARE VERY MUCH MY BRAND

  1. Being at least 10 minutes late
  2. Starting every sentence or story with "listen"
  3. Recommending the closest Mexican restaurant for any meal
  4. Wearing the same pair of jeans for a whole week
  5. Well-timed "that's what she said" jokes
  6. Brushing my teeth in the shower
  7. Fountain Coke
  8. Watching movies with the subtitles on to make sure I never miss a line of dialogue
  9. McDonald's double cheeseburgers