SHIT MY SISTER HAS ACTUALLY TEXTED ME
December edition 2015
- •Remember how I looked at the entrance and you were eye-fucking me!
- •There's this dude I work with that I'm trying to hook you up with
- •I'm drinking and putting my makeup. Hope I don't draw my eyebrows aunt carol style
- •She has officially adopted the typical Utah lesbian look
- •Thanks for coming over. I'm 50 shades of hungover as fuck! Sorry everyone drank your beer. I'll buy you more
- •I have an extra bone in my foot. So that's cool.
- •You're gonna get fired because you late every morning!
- •Stay fat forever.
- •Fuck. Off.
- •I hope you get the pubes instead of sprouts on your sandwich
- •No one gives a shit about you or your birfday!
- •I need this
- •Marissa - If you died, I would tell everyone at your funeral that you thought "north" was the direction you were facing
- •A - Fuck. B - Off.
- •Well then fuck me I guess