SHIT MY SISTER HAS ACTUALLY TEXTED ME

December edition 2015
  1. Remember how I looked at the entrance and you were eye-fucking me!
  2. There's this dude I work with that I'm trying to hook you up with
  3. I'm drinking and putting my makeup. Hope I don't draw my eyebrows aunt carol style
  4. She has officially adopted the typical Utah lesbian look
  5. Thanks for coming over. I'm 50 shades of hungover as fuck! Sorry everyone drank your beer. I'll buy you more
  6. I have an extra bone in my foot. So that's cool.
  7. You're gonna get fired because you late every morning!
  8. Stay fat forever.
  9. Fuck. Off.
  10. I hope you get the pubes instead of sprouts on your sandwich
  11. No one gives a shit about you or your birfday!
  12. I need this
  13. Marissa - If you died, I would tell everyone at your funeral that you thought "north" was the direction you were facing
  14. A - Fuck. B - Off.
  15. Well then fuck me I guess