SHIT MY SISTER HAS ACTUALLY TEXTED ME. PART 3: BIRTHDAY EDITION

It's my sister's 27th birthday today. She's ridiculous, hilarious, and I love her. Here's part 2: SHIT MY SISTER HAS ACTUALLY TEXTED ME. PART 2
  1. β€’
    Tell her 'Betch' is old. Except when I call you Betch.
  2. β€’
    I kinda like Pillowtalk now, Riss. Because he says the fuck word.
  3. β€’
    Would you go on a date with a 30 year old
  4. β€’
    🎧🎧 Fuck it, I'm on one
  5. β€’
    We canceled our dinner plans so I can still go to the gym if you're feeling like you're done being a fat
  6. β€’
    What food you want? Cafe Rio? Chinese? Indian? My weina?
  7. β€’
    It's national pancake day. WE MUST PARTAKE
  8. β€’
    Marissa: ruining lives since 1993
  9. β€’
    I miss saying 'bae' with you πŸ˜‚
  10. β€’
    You didn't wish baby a happy 20 month birfday on Sunday
  11. β€’
    Taco Bell is putting cheese in the shell in the quesalupa 😍😍😍😍
  12. β€’
    Because su friends Es me friends
  13. β€’
    I'll sit here and be sad with my kale salad😒
  14. β€’
    I ain't no asshole! You no come over with food!
  15. β€’
    I don't know if I think that's cute, or if I wanna throw up
  16. β€’
    Ellie Goulding tickets are for sale. Just sayin'. It's my birfday. KFANKS