SOME OF MY TYPICAL AWKWARD MOMENTS THAT MAKE ME CRINGE

Because I can't handle normal human interaction.
  1. Somehow I always manage to say "you too!" when the waiter tells me to enjoy my food.
    I am cursed.
  2. Over-apologizing.
    "Sorry!" "There's no need to be sorry." "Oh, maybe you're right. Sorry! Shit... Sorry! Dammit." It's a terrible cycle of me apologizing for apologizing.
  3. Also, saying "sorry!" when people bump into me.
    Why do I do this?
  4. Being a terrible liar and being caught in just about every lie I've ever told.
    I start laughing or my lies are just flat-out stupid.
  5. Not knowing what to do when someone compliments me.
    Do I say thank you? Do I reply with a compliment? Nope. I blush and smile awkwardly, in total silence.
  6. When I try to confront someone, I am physically unable to be confrontational.
    I could have the entire conversation planned in my head but by the time I see them I go blank and act like everything is fine. Send help.
  7. Getting someone to listen to a song I like or watch a movie I like, and basically staring them down to see their reaction.
    I must know if they like it!
  8. Not knowing how to hold hands when someone tries to hold mine.
    Then my palm gets sweaty and hot and it ruins the moment for anyone involved.
  9. Finding excuses not to leave my house, and not knowing what excuse to make.
    "Come over!" "Can't, I'm busy." "What are you busy with?" "Apartment shopping on the Internet." Actual text conversation I had tonight.
  10. Running into people from high school.
    I should probably say hi, but I won't. Not because I'm trying to be bitchy but because I legitimately can't remember their name or it's the only thing I remember about them.