THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU LIVE BY THE SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL AND DON'T LIKE PEOPLE

Groups are scary. The possibility of running into a celebrity is scary. Tourism is scary. I hate this.
  1. Read a book
    It takes you on an adventure without requiring you to leave your house!
  2. Go to eat at a restaurant far away from Salt Lake
    It's filled with people. Go deep into the suburbs instead. You're bound to find something half decent. Or just go to Cafe Rio
  3. Binge watch Netflix since every theatre is filled to the brim.
    Who needs an Oscar nominated film when there's Making a Murderer???
  4. Don't go on gossip websites
    It will only remind you that Robert Redford is why we can't have nice things, every damn January.
  5. Go on a vacation out of the state. Maybe to LA?
    BECAUSE ALL OF LA DECIDED TO INVADE UTAH
  6. Want to ski? How about sledding instead? Skiing can wait.
    But not the cool mountain sledding. More like "there's a small hill in the next town over" sledding.
  7. Cook at home.
    Who even needs fancy restaurants on the weekends? PSHHH
  8. Take up knitting!
    You'll need to do something for the next week rather than simply become a hermit.
  9. Write your parents a nice letter.
    Or a friend. It passes the time and they'll like you more.
  10. Avoid your friends who think it's a good idea to dress up and go to park city.
    You can talk to them again next week.
  11. Learn yoga from those weird on demand videos.
    Sure, this dude just looks like he smells but you can't smell him. He's on the TV. Just learn how to do downward dog correctly, at least.
  12. Pick up HTML work.
    Once you throw your computer against a wall, go buy a new one and never try HTML again.
  13. Do a project for work next week.
    You literally have nothing else that's better to do.
  14. Be over-dramatic about how Sundance takes over SLC and you don't like it.
    Aka me rn