Thoughts as my heart slowly breaks
I don't know what to feel right now.
- •I'm learning that love is a choice. I can love someone with all my heart, but it's not always enough.I want it to be enough.
- •He has become my version of coming home.I don't know a place that feels like home right now.
- •He's an amazing person, that isn't the issue.
- •But I can't keep getting over things. I can't keep acting like this is normal.Even though they're small things, added together they make a large problem.
- •He likes to act like the past didn't happen.Then it keeps coming back up to bite us.
- •My favorite parts about us have been diminished to sugar coating and little white lies.And it makes me wonder what's real right now
- •A few weeks ago we were talking about moving in together and now I can't even picture that
- •It's funny how something so small exposed so much.And brought up all those feelings I held back.
- •He doesn't see my point of view.Though I've tried to explain
- •My heart hurts and I don't know where to go from here, or what to do.
- •I'm terrified of both directions this could go.Because neither of them feel right. None of this does.
- •Loving him won't go away. I have no doubts about that.
- •However, I have doubts about everything else now.
- •I just want my feelings to be validated.
- •I want to know what's normal. This is a first for both of us, and there's no protocol for these things but I don't think this should be the way it goes.
- •But maybe that's the way it goes