I don't know what to feel right now.
  1. I'm learning that love is a choice. I can love someone with all my heart, but it's not always enough.
    I want it to be enough.
  2. He has become my version of coming home.
    I don't know a place that feels like home right now.
  3. He's an amazing person, that isn't the issue.
  4. But I can't keep getting over things. I can't keep acting like this is normal.
    Even though they're small things, added together they make a large problem.
  5. He likes to act like the past didn't happen.
    Then it keeps coming back up to bite us.
  6. My favorite parts about us have been diminished to sugar coating and little white lies.
    And it makes me wonder what's real right now
  7. A few weeks ago we were talking about moving in together and now I can't even picture that
  8. It's funny how something so small exposed so much.
    And brought up all those feelings I held back.
  9. He doesn't see my point of view.
    Though I've tried to explain
  10. My heart hurts and I don't know where to go from here, or what to do.
  11. I'm terrified of both directions this could go.
    Because neither of them feel right. None of this does.
  12. Loving him won't go away. I have no doubts about that.
  13. However, I have doubts about everything else now.
  14. I just want my feelings to be validated.
  15. I want to know what's normal. This is a first for both of us, and there's no protocol for these things but I don't think this should be the way it goes.
  16. But maybe that's the way it goes