THE WEIRDEST COMPLIMENTS I'VE RECEIVED

  1. You look like Kristen Wigg...but like less old
    From a guy in a bachelor party visiting Nashville
  2. You're smarter than my mom
    From a guy I was semi-dating when I lived in Nashville...thank god I moved. (Update: he's currently engaged to someone who isn't smarter than his mom.)
  3. You look like string cheese
    One of my 3rd grade students told me this through a poem she wrote about me...I think she's calling me skinny!!
  4. I want to have sex with your lips
    From one of my girlfriends so this is a little less rapey than it should be
  5. Girlfriend?!! You're too pretty to be a lesbian.
    When I told a bar stranger I had to bring my drinks back to my girl friend and was misunderstood in the worst kind of way...
  6. You're funnier than people give you credit for
    From a co-worker during a team meeting...fuckin duh 💁🏼
  7. You should take getting roofied as a compliment
    From my idiot friend from high school who I'm hoping wasn't trying to come off as offensive as he actually did
  8. You look healthy
    From a giant man at Organic Avenue who proceeded to give me a free kale smoothie...thanks, sir!