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- •bye bye
- •delete your account
- 1.Did you have the privilege of wiping with the toilet paper here?
- 2.It's like wiping your butt with a cloud
- 3.I want to fall asleep in it
- •Hot dogs
- •Old Navy
- 1.Dirty DancingLearn to twerk. The "dirty dancing" of 1963 was equivalent to something you'd see in a Worldstar Hip Hop video today. So go ahead and make that booty clap. Also, find a dude 30 years your elder.
- 2.The NotebookCheat on your fiancé. It's okay as long as you do it with somebody in the military. It shows support for the troops.
- 3.Pretty WomanBecome a prostitute. Forget being a teacher or doctor, hooking is what draws in the sensitive sophisticated types.
- 4.TitanicPose nude. As long as it's on Instagram it's considered artsy.
- 1.Tip over statues
- 2.Recreate the boulder scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark
- 3.Play chess with real horses
- •Only speak in sports clichés
- •Send random emails in the middle of the night
- •List a bunch of certifications in your email signature