1. Since your knees are going to creak no matter what you might as well have a good story.
  2. Your back will hurt from either activity or inactivity. Might as well workout and complain over beers
  3. You're going to gain weight but it can but steered to better places
  4. Since you're too old for a man bun, try doing push-ups with a toddler on your back for sensitive/macho fusion