ACTUAL DIALOGUE FROM MY PASSOVER SEDER

  1. Me to Ann (mother-in-law): Ann, can I get you anything?
  2. Ann: Do you have any whiskey?
  3. Me (internal monologue): Whiskey’s not kosher for Passover, but my lovely shiksa wife is helping me with the seder . . . so in this case shalom bayit (marital harmony) trumps the laws of kashrut
  4. Me: Whiskey, sure, how would you like it?
  5. Ann: Do you have any ginger ale?
  6. Me: I’ll check . . . whiskey and ginger ale . . . does that have a name?
  7. Ann: A Presbyterian
  8. Me: So lapsed Catholics drink Presbyterians?
  9. Ann: Only on Good Friday
  10. Me: Ann, you are a mystery to me . . . yesterday you didn’t remember that you’d moved to Atlanta, and today I can’t keep up with your wit
  11. Ann: Yesterday I didn’t know which coast I was on . . . but enough of that . . . if you don’t have ginger ale, just a gin martini