THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT BE "FLAVORED"

Because they already are
  1. Yogurt
    Flavored yogurt is just yogurt with jam in it. Except it’s shitty jam with too much sugar. Or aspartame. Otherwise great
  2. Potato chips
    They are supposed to taste like salty greasy potatoes. And they do.
  3. Cream cheese
    Cream cheese is “cream cheese" flavored. Please keep the pineapple, cinnamon, etc., away. I can understand the convenience of chives, but that’s it
  4. Coffee
    There is an entire Dennis Leary rant about this. Coffee is, amazingly, “coffee flavored.”
  5. Bagels
    Blueberry bagel are just deformed muffins. Onion and poppy seeds are not "flavors". More like toppings
  6. Vodka
    If labels/ads were honest, shouldn’t “fluffed marshmallow” vodka feature binge-drinking, barfing seventeen year-olds?