STEPS FOR MASTURBATION

  1. 1.
    Make sure no one is home
  2. 2.
    Go to room and close the door
  3. 3.
    Turn on porn with volume off
  4. 4.
    Check again if anyone is home
  5. 5.
    Turn up porn a little
  6. 6.
    Check if anyone can see your through the window
  7. 7.
    Close the blinds
  8. 8.
    Turn on porn
  9. 9.
    Go to town on yourself
  10. 10.
    Turn up volume! Screw it!
  11. 11.
    Cum!
  12. 12.
    Realize how disgusting the porn is you were watching
  13. 13.
    Turn off computer
  14. 14.
    Look at yourself in computer screen
  15. 15.
    Be disgusted with yourself
  16. 16.
    Say you'll never be that gross again
  17. 17.
    Repeat daily