1. The person who created football minutes is also the same person who created exercise minutes and microwave minutes.
  2. The NFL needs marching bands.
  3. You are the reason why I have no storage space on my phone. 🐾❤️
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  4. …But I saw people yesterday.
  5. How drastically would my life change if I were to combine this can of alphabet soup with this can of double noodle soup?
  6. I look like Howie Dorough from the Backstreet Boys.