THINGS THAT WILL GET YOU AN AUTOMATIC SWIPE LEFT ON TINDER

They say not to judge a book by its cover... but this is Tinder
  1. A bio explaining that the child/baby in your photos is not your kid!!!! Just a niece/nephew/cousin/child you found on the street
    Just don't include those pictures in your profile. Very simple.
  2. A dog in your photo that is significantly cuter than you
    How do I swipe right on a meet-up to just pet your dog? That's not a euphemism.
  3. No bio
    You can tell a lot about a person from whether or not they use emojis here.
  4. Too many group/friend photos
    I am not a detective, idk which one you are, you might not even be any of these people so please have at least one photo of just yourself ok??
  5. A photo of you at a zoo/on safari/with any sort of exotic animal
    Why
  6. A name too similar to mine (see Martin, Marvin, Marty, etc.)
    It could never work
  7. Exclusively vacation/extreme sports photos
    No one is that exciting all the time. Are you even real?
  8. If you "Super-Liked" me
    You made it weird. Automatic swipe left.
  9. Gym selfies
    Boy bye.
  10. Your Snapchat handle in your bio
    Idk, seems sketch to me
  11. No smiling pics
    You do not seem like any fun at all!
  12. Your height
    Maybe it's a short person thing but idgaf about your stats. This is a Tinder bio, not a baseball card
  13. A photo of you & a truck/you & a gun
    Don't care.
  14. "Make me laugh/Surprise me/Don't swipe right if you're not going to message me first."
    gtfo