WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY PHONE?

An Actual Question. If you have any insight it would be appreciated!
  1. I have an iPhone 5s & it's been acting up lately.
  2. About a month ago, it randomly, in the middle of the day, lost all my contacts (kind of).
    When I went to my text messages, the conversations were not labeled by names but by phone numbers - I had to scroll through the conversation to figure out who it was.
  3. A peek in my Contacts app showed that they were all gone
  4. *BUT* if I went to compose a new message and typed a name (for example, 'Mom' instead of her 10-digit number), it would work just fine
    So the contacts were still in there somehow???¿
  5. After a few annoying days of this, I noticed something else was off. My apps were all labeled the wrong things.
    The map icon read 'Podcasts.' The music icon read 'Mail.' etc. etc. etc.
  6. wtf????
  7. Then one day it was just suddenly back to normal 🤔
  8. And we all lived happily ever after The End
  9. ...or did we???
  10. Tonight I was communicating via iMessage with my friend and suddenly the messages were taking a while to send
    like she was responding to the conversation but the top of my screen said "Sending 1 of 2/Sending 1 of 3/Sending 1 of 4..." etc. as we were talking
  11. So I closed out the app, figuring I'll just open it again and it will have fixed itself
    I was wrong
  12. When re-opened it
  13. It had deleted all of my messages
  14. 😒😒😒😒
  15. Not that there was anything particularly sentimental that I was saving, but it's annoying to me to not be able to look back through the message history.
    There are certain contacts that I never delete the messages from because there are photos, addresses, dates/times of things that I am actually saving short-term.
  16. All of this is not to mention the frequent unresponsiveness of apps (of both the downloaded and pre-installed variety) and sometimes - such as now when am trying to type this list - up to a 2-second lag time on the keyboard
    makes for a lot of typos and therefore this list is taking forever
  17. Whenever tell people about these problems, the first thing they ALWAYS ask me is "Ohh, did you just update your phone?"
    I haven't updated past 9.1
  18. So have continued to avoid updating for fear of losing more
  19. but maybe at this point it's doing more harm than good...?
  20. HALP 😫😫😫😫