Things I actually believed to be true:
  1. I invented blinking
    You shoulda seen me- I could barely keep my eyes open. I kept telling my parents to watch as I showed them what a magnificent discovery I'd made- they were confused and unimpressed
  2. My parents kidnapped me as a child
    We were at church, and I didn't have a GREAT memory as a 5 year old. I also vaguely remember a pirate- you know this could have been a dream. Either way, I told all my friends and they though it was cool (and didn't question that I looked EXACTLY like my mother)
  3. Jurasically was a word. (Drastically is, jurassically isn't)
    Give kids books instead of movies. Period. Just kidding Jurassic Park is a classic.
  4. Adults don't drink "wine," they drink spoiled grape juice.
    I was 3 and my dad thought it would be funny if I tasted wine in front of all his friends. I was unamused.
  5. Calculators couldn't actually solve simple math- they were just for fake cash registers.
    Okay- the day I found out what a calculator did was magical. I thought it was just something people did to make noise while they actually did all the math in their head.
  6. All adults have got everything figured out.
    I technically am one but boy oh boy was this a false assumption
  7. Knowing things is fun
    I wish I could sleep at night. But my mind knows too many horrible things now. Thanks Obama! (Just kidding I love that man and I'm so scared of everything now)
  8. I thought I was in a reality television series