Bachelor in Paradise Week 2, stream of reactions and quotable quotes

NIGHT 1:
  1. On a scale of 1 to fuck off, FUCK OFF
    Who gave Chad that deli meat in his exit ride
  2. 'they were all vibing me'
    Vibing my meat taste 👎🏼
  3. Does anybody know where chad is?
    He gone (but they're still using his creepy tuneless whistle sound bite)
  4. Leah's an idiot
    Girl, chill. Plus Amanda is obvs prettier
  5. 🍌👯🍌
  6. Nick mentions the size of his 🍆
    actually specifies to an eighth of an inch. Thought u were better than that, Nick (but ur still so fine, luv u boo)
  7. Carly and Evan!?
    AwkWARD
  8. Yas Nick shut Leah down
  9. Daniel out-maneuvered Leah with an onion metaphor
    Yas Dan, Leah is opportunistic as hell
  10. Josh suuuckkks
    He seems so fake and is hella glib
  11. Apparently Carly goes for feminine men
    ✔️✔️Evan, who apparently is also clueless that she is not into him
  12. Jared is DENSE
    Or just not into Emily
  13. Amanda WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH JOSH HE IS CLEARLY AN EVIL VILLAIN WITH THAT STUPID SEMI-MUSTACHE AND ALL THE DISINGENUOUS GOD TALK
  14. NIGHT 2:
  15. 'Evan gives me erectile dysfunction'
    Get it bc he makes a living helping people have erection, finally a dick joke from someone other than the dick clinic director
  16. Chris Harrison doesn't remember Brandon
    Ouch even tho it's prob fake. To be fair he doesn't seem very memorable
  17. "I'm going to go after Amanda"
    Evan u are TRULY CLUELESS.
  18. This eagle knows what he wants
    Daniel loves metaphors
  19. Amanda and josh get a room already
    Thanks, ABC, for broadcasting those gross kissing noises josh makes
  20. Aw Daniel might actually be an onion
    Peelin back those layers. Give him the rose, Sarah!! Christian is 🔥but not as nuanced
  21. 👯switcheroo backfired, shocking
    Sherlock Holmes, you are not, Brandon
  22. Ugh Evan you're killing me with this DIY date card
    Amanda has LITERALLY been sucking face with Josh for hours. Way to go for the least available woman in paradise
  23. No Evan, it's not Thoreau.
    'Twas Robert Frost