Times I redownload tinder

If the App Store tracked the download and delete pattern on my phone they would send me to therapy
  1. When I'm belligerently drunk
    (And all my friends are hooking up with other people at the bar)
  2. When I'm still moderately drunk
  3. Slightly tipsy
  4. 3 days before my period
  5. 2 in the morning after finishing 27 dresses and the like
  6. My lunch break at jury duty
  7. To prove to my mom that it's awful
  8. Half a beer into my night and halfway into Runaway bride
  9. When my high school friends start talking about their drunken hookups
  10. Basically, my lapse of judgment results in downloading that horrendous app for 24 hours.