1. This is it. It's never turning on again.
  2. I have insurance on this phone, right?
  3. When was the last time I backed it up?
  4. Probably never, because I don't really understand how that works.
  5. Better google reasons why this is happening to me.
  6. Oh wait, the charger isn't plugged in to the wall.
  7. Okay, no, it's still not turning on.
  8. Goodbye last 11 or so selfies I took.
  9. Oh, it's turning on.
  10. It's already at 37 percent.
  11. How is that possible.
  12. Stupid refurbished iPhone battery.