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Today, while kayaking down the Guadeloupe river, I put on sunscreen probably 5 times. At least. Somehow, these spots were continuously missed
  1. Somehow, I always forget this one
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  1. Managed to mysteriously cut my hand and finger while getting onto the plane?
    Still unsure how it happened
  2. Went to use my pen only to discover too late that it exploded ink everywhere
  3. The shoes I wore on the plane managed to give me 4 blisters
    Kind of my fault, I've never really worn these vans
  4. Tripped and fell walking into the store and broke my flip flop.
I LOVE interesting facts. These are some of my favorites
  1. Armadillos are the only mammal besides humans that can carry leperosy
  2. A jellyfish's mouth is also their anus
  3. Hippos sometimes sweat red
    And the pictures are horrifying
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  1. My name was Mary Beth Elizabeth and not Mary Elizabeth
  2. Pearl Jam was singing about the difficulties of finding a butter man, not a better man
    It's hard to find a milk man these days, even harder trying to find someone to deliver butter to your door
  3. King Triton was definitely based off my dad
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Sometimes we say inappropriate things without realizing it
  1. "I feel like if I have to bang it in the store, I can't take it home with me"
    This was said about Tupperware
  2. "You can't make love to me on the toilet!"
    There's not really a great explanation for this one
  3. "That's easy! You just strip it down and shove it in"
    Helpful instructions on how to make rosemary stuffed chicken
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