GROWING UP CATHOLIC

  1. Hymns from mass and school become so ingrained in your head that you will never, ever forget them even if you want
  2. You will always have the basic prayers and responses in your brain due to rote memorization and sometimes you even know them in different languages, I know the Hail Mary in French and the Our Father in Spanish!
  3. Saints are dope af, they have all done wild things, St Augustine particularly, the martyrs are also very metal and the school library always had books about every saint, at my school you could borrow four Saint books instead of the usual two REGULAR books
  4. VeggieTales is the best thing that ever goddamn happened but specifically the non religious parts when Larry the Cucumber sings by himself about his hairbrush or whatever
  5. At 7 years old you make First Holy Communion and it's a big party and you get a lot of money and a pretty, fancy dress that's like a wedding dress for babies
  6. Sometime in middle school you get Confirmed in the Holy Spirit which means you're a FULL full member of the church, which should be a big deal but is celebrated much less than First Communion IMO, maybe because middle schoolers are less cute?
  7. You come up with any excuse not to go to church on Sunday morning, you try to sleep in, pretend you have a cough, if you can't get out of Sunday mass altogether at least maybe you can go to 7pm mass!
  8. All your life they teach you the book of Genesis and Jesus' miracles as fact and then around 12 years old they're like, "No Genesis are just STORIES, and actually people just shared their loaves and fishes, Jesus didn't will more food into existence," and literally force you to reassess your whole worldview, and you're like, huh?
  9. Then you're twelve years old and have to rethink everything they ever taught you. If Genesis is just a story what else is a story? If Jesus didn't perform real miracles what else is real?
  10. Anyway that's why I'm not sure I believe in God