Basic Bitch Qualities I've Accepted in Myself

I am who I am. And sometimes that person embraces the hell out of the monoculture.
  1. Wears yoga pants more than twice a week and not for exercising ✔️
    (I like to think of them as "pants without feedback")
  2. Has a Goldendoodle ✔️
  3. Owns a hat, never wears it ✔️
  4. Chipotle order comes in a bowl ✔️
  5. Uses Latisse ✔️
  6. Instagram captions always vague but cheerful ✔️
  7. Mostly reads books that are already popular ✔️
  8. Likes monogrammed towels, luggage, and pajamas ✔️
  9. Drinks caramel frappuccinos on bad days ✔️
  10. Drinks cortados on every other day ✔️
  11. Still prefers Royal Tenenbaums ✔️
  12. Avidly watches The Bachelor ✔️
  13. Listens to Beyoncé while working out ✔️
  14. Hair extensions ✔️
  15. Only uses attractive Snapchat filters ✔️
  16. Pro-kale, pro-coconut oil ✔️
  17. Robust Pinterest presence ✔️
  18. Gets a blow-out and spray tan before major events ✔️
  19. Shops on One Kings Lane ✔️
  20. Drinks vodka tonics ✔️
  21. Did the whole Marie Kondo thing and now urges friends to try it ✔️
  22. Contours ✔️
  23. Adds avocado to things frequently ✔️
  24. Loves this emoji 👯 ✔️
  25. Tags friends in Instagram memes ✔️
  26. Looks forward to brunch ✔️
  27. Owns pink tampons ✔️