1. The year is 1983. My brother is a newborn and I am not yet a glint in anyone's eyes.
  2. One morning my mom wakes up and hears a low hum coming from the first floor of their house.
  3. This is my parents' first baby and they are sleep deprived, etc. So my mom figures they've accidentally left the refrigerator door open and she goes downstairs to close it.
  4. Except when she gets to the kitchen, the door is closed.
  5. Weird. What could be humming?
  6. Not the radiator. Not the dishwasher. Not the dryer.
  7. And then she sees it.
  8. Her sliding glass patio doors are completely covered in bees.
  9. INSIDE the house.
  10. She freaks out. She runs upstairs, grabs my brother, and stuffs towels under her bedroom door.
  11. This is worst nightmare kind of stuff.
  12. She eventually is able to leave with my brother unscathed and the exterminators show up.
  13. She and my dad have to, of course, evacuate to a hotel and they have to bring ALL the baby stuff with them lest it get contaminated.
  14. Next day. Mom is at the hotel with my brother. Dad is at work.
  15. My dad has a deadline he has to finish. He tells his new secretary, don't bother me, no matter what.
  16. Four hours later he emerges from his office.
  17. His secretary says, THANK GOD YOU'RE DONE. A truck drove through your dining room!
    My dad obviously fires this woman.
  18. My parents' house was at the end of a cul-de-sac at the bottom of a hill.
  19. While the exterminators were on lunch break, a grandfather and his grandson were pulling into a driveway up the hill and across the way.
  20. The grandfather quickly ran into the house, leaving his four-year-old grandson alone in the truck.
  21. The grandson pulls the parking brake and the truck slowly glides in reverse across the cul-de-sac and down the hill.
  22. The truck gains a little speed but is stopped before it can endanger the little boy.
  23. Stopped by the bay window of my parent's dining room, that is. Or more accurately, stopped by my great-grandparents' dining table.
  24. The little boy was fine.
  25. But THAT'S how a pretty bad day can get a lot worse.