I Love You, Whataburger. I Regret You, Whataburger.

  1. Beacon of hope to all Texans.
  2. Open until 4 am every night.
  3. All burgers come "Texas Style", that is, with mustard & pickles.
  4. It's so much more than burgers. It's crispy tacos, breakfast tacos, taquitos, patty melts, BLT's... And they are always adding honey mustard or fried chicken or A1 sauce to things. Plus Root Beer floats!
  5. And then there is the Fancy Ketchup. Another icon of Texas. Did you even know ketchup could be so beautiful?
  6. One night I drove my ex-boyfriend and I home and he drunkenly insisted on Whataburger.
  7. Drunkenly insisting on Whataburger is essentially the Texas state song.
  8. Guy ordered 30 taquitos. THIRTY.
  9. It was two large bags chock full of taquitos. Like he went taquito shopping at an outlet mall.
  10. Later I found the receipt on the floorboard of my car and it was almost two feet long.
  11. The fine folks of Whataburger had individually rung up each taquito.
  12. On my 27th birthday, I fell asleep eating Whataburger in bed.
  13. What a life, I thought. Eating Whataburger in bed. Feeling good about my life! I have it all!
  14. I woke up the next morning to find fancy ketchup smeared on my pillow and fries still clutched in my palms.
  15. I had slept on top of a Whatachicken sandwich, flattened underneath my back.
  16. I'm still not sure if this was my greatest or worst moment.
  17. Here is a list of other fast food I would bring into my bed:
  18. .
  19. Yeah, that's gross.
  20. Whataburger is forever, though. 💙