I DON'T TRUST YOU, JIMMY FALLON

But gahd damn it if you aren't America's Sweetheart. @JimmyFallon
  1. I love Jimmy Fallon and the @FallonTonight Show. But let's just say, if he were an eleven year old wizard on his first day at Hogwarts...boy would be sorted into Slytherin.
  2. Yes he's a laughing machine and yes he's a great host. No doubt no doubt. He's just too cunning for his own good. And I don't trust him.
  3. For one, he's a competitive mother trucker. I think he cheats when they play catch phrase. Higgins gives him clues and I can see it in his eyes that he knows exactly what the phrase is, but he acts like doesn't know so the time will run out and he'll say the right answer in the last minute!
    *twitches one eye* I SEE YOUR ACT JIMMY. #suchaslytherin
  4. For another thing, it may seem like all fun and games when he plays the "Box of Lies" game, but like, he is reallllllllllly good at it. Like tooooo good at it. Like that is some psychological shit and he knows how to play mind games. Takes a liar to know a liar, Jimmy.
    #suuuuuuuchaslytherin
  5. I don't know Jimmy...you're just a crafty son of a bitch...
  6. And know that while you might have everyone else fooled with your genuine cuteness and likability....
  7. You better watch out because Immmmmm WATCHIN you.
  8. But also I'm literally watching you.
  9. Because you and your show are creative and entertaining AF...
  10. And you are indeed still America's Sweetheart...
  11. Even though I know, and you know, in my heart of hearts, that you are the most slytheriny Slytherin there ever was.