IF YOU SAY THESE THINGS, JUST KNOW, I AM PUNCHING YOU IN MY MIND

  1. Saying "film" instead of movie.
    This is okay sometimes. But if it's obvious - I'll punch you in the face. In my mind.
  2. "What's your brand?"
    Stop.
  3. "I'm just trying to develop my brand."
    Stoppppp.
  4. "Two words: Brand. Development."
    Get the fuck off my front porch.
  5. "Does this have gluten on it?"
  6. "Make America Great Again"
  7. "Hey... You can still get married if your degree doesn't work out for you."
    ...
  8. "Lol my parents pay for everything."
    ☝️✋👊
  9. "I'm sorry, but"
    No. "Just be wrong. Just stand there in your wrongness and be wrong and get used to it."
    Suggested by   @LizDawson
  10. "No offense but"
    Suggested by   @schwartztastic
  11. "Taco Bell is disgusting"
    Ur disgusting
    Suggested by   @paigeparker
  12. "I seen that the other day..."
    Extra punches if you're a teacher and you're supposed to be teaching kids proper English.
    Suggested by   @aakraus
  13. "It is what it is."
    Fine if it's a zen like moment of true acceptance, but it's usually just code for: "Yeah this thing is terrible, but I refuse to make any effort to improve it or the situation surrounding it."
    Suggested by   @karenburg
  14. You know, having a teaching degree in this day in age is not a good idea. Do you have a back up plan?
    Suggested by   @libby92
  15. "Don't you know how bad that is for you?"
    DON'T CARE. SHUT UP AND LET ME EAT IN PEACE.
    Suggested by   @heykaykay
  16. "I mean, the West Wing is okay, but..."
    Suggested by   @bookishclaire
  17. "You want him to be happy, don't you?"
    Yes, you idiot, I want him to be happy WITH ME.
    Suggested by   @bookishclaire
  18. "Expand your network."
    Or I could hermit and not.
    Suggested by   @bailey
  19. "Just to play devil's advocate..."
    No. You are not advocating for the devil. Just be real about the fact that you're 600% about to be an asshole.
    Suggested by   @JennyJLee
  20. You should smile more!
    😁 Die.
    Suggested by   @TVAddict
  21. "I am just trying to stay away from social media"
    You're not better than me
    Suggested by   @Graced_By_Stile
  22. But, where are you REALLY from?
    Suggested by   @smallthings
  23. Don't take this the wrong way but...
    Oh gawd I don't even wanna know what you're about to say. Just stop.
    Suggested by   @BROWNIE
  24. With all due respect
    I am about to stick a knife into you and twist it
    Suggested by   @fats