MY 5 STEP PLAN TO ENTERTAIN AND NURSE MICHAEL BACK TO HEALTH WHEN HE'S LAID UP FOR 2 WEEKS

  1. Snap chat him me dancing to any and all film scores.
  2. Argue with him on every single Disney opinion he has even if I secretly agree with him.
  3. Go out into the dessert and meditate for 6 days. Suddenly open my eyes in the middle of the night, get up, and walk out of the dessert. Find Hillary Swank. Challenge her to a duel in the middle of the ocean on top of the wooden planks Rose lay on in Titanic. Use a shark to murder her. Sacrifice her to the old gods and the new so they heal Michael.
  4. Tell him to drink water.
  5. Tell him to watch Page Master. Because I feel like he hasn't in a while and it's time.
  6. Send him pictures a Oranges because he needs vitamin C probably.
  7. Make fire Lists dedicated to our sickly bodies.
  8. Eat cake. Because fuck you I want cake ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU MICHAEL.
  9. Go to his house and throw almonds at his sickly and broken body.