Reasons I'm Like This

Inspired by @supabg
  1. 1.
    Because Gollum scared the shit out of me. In literally all forms of media. I hid the cartoon Hobbit video tape whenever we went to the library so my brothers wouldn't check it out and I'd have nightmares. This was before the IRL movies came out and I would legit lay in a pool of my own sweat at night because I was so friggin scared of LOTR Gollum.
  2. 2.
    Because my mom homeschooled me.
    I would have been destroyed in public school - like fuck me. My mom probably changed my whole life by homeschooling me.
  3. 3.
    Because my Dad says "Night Mare" and then "AHHHHHHHH!" Every time I say g'night to him.
  4. 4.
    Because I didn't have a phone till after Highschool.
  5. 5.
    Because #Catholic.
  6. 6.
    Because I didn't have TV when we were kids.
  7. 7.
    Because I'm dyslexic.
  8. 8.
    Because my dad always told me "Remember Mary, the thing about a joke, it has to be funny."
  9. 9.
    Because I think too much.
  10. 10.
    Because one time this lady took away the toy dinosaurs I was playing with and gave them to the boys who wanted to play with them, saying that dinosaurs were for boys.
    Excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me but 1. You're not my mom and 2. That's not fair and I'm about to have a fiiiiiiiiiiiiit so you better check yourself lady
  11. 11.
    Because my mom played classical music
  12. 12.
    Because my mom played Hawaiian music
  13. 13.
    Because my mom played Disney audio cassettes
  14. 14.
    Because I cried when the last Lord of The Rings movie came out.
  15. 15.
    Because I cried at the end of A League of Their Own
  16. 16.
    Because I was once at war with each and every one of my siblings at some point in time.
  17. 17.
    Because bitches are bitches.
  18. 18.
    Because assholes are bitches too.
  19. 19.
    Because I won every single battle when it came to not eating my dinner.
    The whole "You're not leaving this table till you eat those mushrooms" thing was hilarious. There was no way in hell I was going to eat that and that was that. Remember when we both did this @joemurphy
  20. 20.
    Because I once made a model of an atom with marbles and a Tupperware top for fun.
    My mom was impressed. And it was like a shocked impressed. I think I asked her that day if she thought I was dumb or something because she was way too impressed.
  21. 21.
    Because I tortured myself and ran cross country.
    Rewarding af.
  22. 22.
    Because chemistry broke me. Body and soul.
  23. 23.
    Because I couldn't/can't say coherent sentences.
  24. 24.
    Because I my first real job was really hard and the longest hours ever but I did it anyway and got really good at it.
  25. 25.
    Because @joemurphy and I found out we actually liked each other when we sat down one time when I was 10 and he was 12.
  26. 26.
    Because my Aunt slowly walked me down a whole camp ground when I was balling my eyes out because I was having a fit and said "look at all these people watching you cry."
    I walked the walk of shame as a 6 year old before Cercei ever did. And I was *livid*
  27. 27.
    Because my sister @addiemurphy taught me how to pick up a cat without freaking out.
    This was a Herculean tasks for me.
  28. 28.
    Because fuck PK shoot outs.
  29. 29.
    Because a deer once chased me.
  30. 30.
    Because a thousand other reasons.