SWEET NOTHINGS I'VE WHISPERED TO MY SHITFACED DELL COMPUTER AS IT WORKS IT'S SHIT OUT

My computer is currently blasting an episode of Supernatural right now, which is great, EXCEPT ITS PITCH BLACK AND THE KEYBOARD ISNT WORKING.
  1. "Hmmmm this is interesting Dell."
  2. "Shhh...I don't blame you..."
  3. "I know I have 32 tabs open."
  4. "I knew this day would come."
  5. "I just didn't think it would be so soon."
  6. *closes laptop.*
  7. *computer shakes in protest as I commence shutdown*
  8. "Shhhhh sleep now."