K well obviously he requested this one but here it goes...
  1. "If you ever do hard drugs I'm going to do five times whatever you do so you have my overdose on your conscience"
  2. "This week on things that are weirdly Joe's jammmm: The little women soundtrack"
  3. "If someone was like hey joe come take care of these penguins in the South Pole or South Africa I would leave this all behind in a hot second"
    When he saw "Martian"
  5. This
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    I'm not drunk in this picture I swear
  6. "Atlantis leaned the fuck in"
  7. "Steal his food and eat it to show dominance"
    When I was texting him under the dinner table about this douche bag who was being rude
  8. I don't...I don't even know...
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    I'm so sorry
  9. "IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE SASS THEN YOU CANT HANDLE THE ASS is what I tell to all the ladies"
  10. "*goes up to deaf person* *raises middle finger* 'Can you hear me now?'"
  11. "How hobo would it be if I fell asleep on this bus stop bench? Like dirty hobo or sexy hobo?"
  12. "I'm up shits creek but I do have a paddle. Except the paddle is also made of shit. And so is the boat. And so am I."
  13. "Welp. The "just found out that Vanilla ice was a white person" club just got a new member"