Things I Did After Seeing Wonder Woman

All of this is to be read in the voice of Beyoncé when she recited poems in Lemonade.
  1. PUNCHED A SHARK
  2. Cried
  3. CHALLENGED SOMEONE TO A DUEL
  4. Held hands with literally everyone all around the world
  5. AGGRESSIVELY GOOGLED CHRIS PINE
  6. Respectfully looked up Gal Gadot's IMDB page
  7. BOUGHT NINE SWORDS FROM AMAZON.COM
  8. Became emotionally vulnerable
  9. SHARPENED THE SWORDS I GOT ON AMAZON.COM ON GAL GADOT'S JAW LINE
  10. Did a séance probably
  11. MADE A BLOOD OATH PINKY PROMISE WITH A COVEN OF WITCHES
  12. Smiled
  13. JOINED A KICKBOXING CLASS