THINGS YOU MAY DO AT MY FUNERAL

  1. You may have ice cream cake
    I established this at a very young age to my mom. My favorite is vanilla but I told my mom she could get chocolate to match the darker theme. I was like 4. I think she freaked out.
  2. You may throw darts at a picture of Denis Quaid and drunkinly say "mmmmmMsmary wouldawanned thissss" *throws dart*
    Because yes. I would have wanted this.
  3. But on the real make sure I'm dead plz.
    @kaitmaree takin a page out of your book.
  4. I will have at least 2 Celine Dion songs.
  5. If I die in a super lame way, everyone has to come up with a cool and heroic death story. Winner gets to throw the first dart at D Quaid.
  6. Instead of a slide show of me with my family, I just want screenshots of my killer lists and tweets.
  7. Also in the background I just want the hotline bling music video projected on the wall. It can be on silent. I just feel like it needs to be there.
  8. You know those cough drops with the little inspirational feel better messages on them? Those, but instead I want lil messages like "pssst. Stop crying you look dumb" or "hey. It's me Mary. I'm like, right next to you." or "boo." or "#ghostmary" or "#marysfuneral2k??" or "fuck Hillary Swank"
    So yeah hand those out.