Times I've Bargained With God And/Or The Devil
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
- 1.Right now. I just want to go to an Avett Brothers concert and I'm just putting it on the table for both parties to consider."Just put it outtttttt there, Mary."
- 2.Whenever ever I NEEDED a bathroom and non was in sight."ILL BURN THE INTERNET DOWN FOR YOU IF YOU DO THIS FOR ME GOD" is usually how that one goes.
- 3.Whenever I killed my roommate @alisonkaye95 's car"GET ME OUT OF THIS AND ILL BUILD A SHRINE." (Funnily enough it was Friday the 13 and this pagan guy with all these ritualistic tattoos and rings and blue hair came up and helped me. He was really nice. He said he and his family didn't work on the 13th for religious regions. You guys I side eyed so hard.
- 4.When I reallllllly fucked up and forgot about a huge assignment for a pretty big grade in one of my classes."I FUCKED. UPPPPPPPP. plz just help me I'll literally go on a pilgrimage."
- 5.Statistics Fall 2016I only sold a little bit of my soul to Los Diablo.
- 6.During a cross country race*while running* "FUCK YOU I HATE THIS. Okay. Okay. No Mary. Don't take it out on God. We got this. Just one foot in front of th-NO FUCK THIS. WHY ARE WE DOING THIS. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORST FUCK THIS WE GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS LIKE NOW. SELL YOUR SOUL TO GET OUT OF THIS MARY YOU SLOW PEICE OF TRASH OMG WHY ARE WE STILL RUNNING IT BURNS. Okay. Calm down. At this point God, sir, we'd just like not to pee ourselves. Because at this point there is limited bladder control-JUST TRIP OVER A ROOT MARY"
- 7.Whenever I broke one of my aunt's priceless antiques.*starts drawing pentagram*
- 8.The list meet up crisis of Spring 2k16Did I acquire a voodoo doll from the devil and make Joe drive hours after he got off work to pick me up and drive me back to ATL? Idk. (Yes.)