Times My Mom Has Slapped Me In The Face

Jeannine takes NO PRISONERS.
  1. Mom: "Mary turn on the dehumidifier before you got to bed"
  2. Me: "Yeah sure mom maybe I'll do that AFTER I BURN IN HELL."
  3. Mom:
  4. Me literally at any random point around my mom: "SEX!"
  5. Mom:
  6. Mom: "There's pizza in the oven."
  7. Me: "Thank CHRIST."
  8. Mom:
  9. Me: *flips off sister behind mom's back*
  10. Sister: "MOM!"
  11. Mom:
  12. Mom: "What did you do last night with your friends?"
  13. Me: "Did alcohol and smoked some DOOBIES."
  14. Mom:
  15. Mom: "Clean your room."
  16. Me: "NO!"
  17. Mom:
  18. Mom: "Hey turn the lights off when you leave."
  19. Me: "YOURE NOT MY MOM"
  20. Mom:
  21. Also Mom:
  22. Update!! From this morning! *mom comes around the corner in the dark and I don't hear her because she is but a small woodland elf and makes no sound*
  23. Me: "JESUS! You scared me!!"
  24. Mom: "Sorry!"
  25. ...
  26. ...
  27. Mom: "DONT SAY JESUS."