1. •
    Jimmy Fallon: SLYTHERIN
    Ahhhhhhhh, America's most adorable snake. DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME. Jimmy is conniving lil 🐍 and while er'body thinks he's adorable his true self comes out when he competes in ANY of the games or is around animals. But damn it do we love him because he's OUR 🐍. #SLYTHERIN
  2. •
    Stephen Colbert: RAVENCLAW
    While he sometimes likes to think of himself as a Gryffindor, in his ❤️of ❤️s, he knows he's straight up a Ravenclaw. Definitely the smartest TV show host and I bet it can get a little annoying working with him because he's probably already 1000 steps ahead of you. Also, a straight up #nerd. As a fellow #catholic he's probably a goodie two shoes afraid to break the rules, which is also a Ravenclaw trait. I like to think he probably genuflects when he leaves theaters. #RAVENCLAW
  3. •
    Jimmy Kimmel: mmmmmGRYFFINDOR
    THIS ONE WAS TRICKSY HOBBITSES. Jimmy isn't like a jock Gryffindor. At Hogwarts he would spend most of his time in the kitchen with the house elves and probably had wayyyyyy too many Slytherin friends. But his jokes/pranks are most appreciated by Gryffindors. He's basically Fred and Georges' successor.
  4. •
    Ellen DeGeneres: Hufflepuff
    Nice as hell and kind to everyone. The Slytherins respect her because she can clap back just as hard but in a way that makes her seem adorable. But honestly she's mainly a Hufflepuff for her dance moves.
  5. •
    James Corden: SLYTHERIN
    But he likes to DISGUISE himself as a Hufflepuff. But alas I WONT FALL FOR IT. Carpool Karaoke gave him too much fame and now he's getting HUNGRY FOR MORE. It'll only be a matter of time before this 🐍 goes after the other 🐍 Jimmy Fallon. Also ambitious as fuck. So props. Even though he's a SNAKE.
  6. •
    Seth Myers: RAVENCLAW
    Such a #nerd but also smart as hell and plays by the book. Also I feel like he would be a jock Ravenclaw and like sells drugs to the Jock Gryffindors.
  7. •
    John Oliver: Gryffindor
    A little bit of an attention whore but damn do we love throwing money at him because he's just Suh good at what he does. He does not hold back and also cusses like the cool Gryffindors.
  8. •
    Trevor Noah: Gryffindor
    Young, vibrant, full of energy, fights for what's right. Like Hermione, the hat probably considered putting him in Ravenclaw because he's friggin smart. But then Trevor probably made a fart joke and so he was sorted into Gryffindor.
  9. •
    Conan O'Brian: Hufflepuff
    But like a bitter Hufflepuff because he's mad he didn't get into Slytherin. He covers this angry up by being the class clown of Hufflepuff. But don't be fooled, underneath it all he is indeed a 🐍.
  10. •
    Jon Stewart: ....GRYFFINDOR
    Nuf said.