What It's Like Working a 15 Hour Day at the 6th Best BBQ Place in the Nation

  1. First, my sister and I drive to work while we blast the soundtrack to Le Mis because the songs connect to our situation on a spiritual level. Usually we begin our work week with the lyrics "I dreamed a dream that my life would be so different from this hell I'm living in."
    For instance, tomorrow is our last day of work for the week so we shall be blasting "ONE DAY MORE" with a ferocious tenacity.
  2. Then we get out of the car, plaster smiles on our faces, and walk into the gates of hell.
  3. Doors open:
  4. "Hi welcome to-
  5. "WHERES YOUR MENU"
  6. "Oh! Sir it's right there. Mmhm Yep right there beside you haha-"
  7. "I WANT THE HALF RAC OF RIBS MEAL"
  8. "Okay thall be $16-"
  9. "MAKE IT A FULL RACK"
  10. "Okay sir if you just wanna take a seat they'll bring your food out for you, so if you just give me a name for the order-"
  11. "SCARFACE. PUT IT UNDER SCARFACE- WAIT NO! PUT IT UNDER BATMAN. HAHA."
  12. ""
  13. "Okay."
  14. So that's my sister, @addiemurphy 's job.
  15. HERES MINE.
  16. We open with me actually drowning in a mixture of my own sweat and pig fat.
  17. This summer I have been "promoted" and now work out in the pitt (of hell). For those of you who don't know that's where the smoker is. And it is hot. Today it was an average of 95 degrees all day. I would drink water and it would just instantly sweat right through me.
    I can't even begin to explain to you my job and what exactly I do back there because I don't even know...
  18. But it goes a little something like this...
  19. "Okay so I gotta put this meat in this warmer and then take this out of here with the special gloves and then put this in here with the other special gloves and then - oops don't mix those up Mary you silly goose yo-"
  20. "WE NEED MEAT"
    (Literally my boss)
  21. "Okay so now I just gotta move this into this and don't forget the other gloves and then OH FUCK ITS HOT WHAT A FUCKIN BURN OH THATS GONNA SCAR."
  22. "Okay got the meat to her now I just gotta go back and then switch this out with the other bin-"
  23. "WE NEED MORE MEAT. ALSO WE NEED BAKED BEANS."
  24. "Alright just gotta lift this big huge bin of baked beans -oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuCK fUCK FUCK FUCK THIS IS HEAVY THIS IS SO HEAVY OH MY GOD CURSE MY SMALL WRISTS IM GONNA DROP THE BEANS OH MY GOD IF I DROP THE BEANS OH GOD OF FUCK SOME OF IT SLOSHES OVER ONTO MY ARM AND IT BURNING MY ARM ACTUALLY MELDING ONTO MY ARM OH MY GOD BUT I CANT DROP IT
  25. And then I look up at the clock to find it's only been 2 hours.
  26. So yeah about 13 more hours of that.
  27. During that half way point @addiemurphy and I usually meet up in the walk in freezer and just kinda let it all out.
  28. But then we walk right back out, grin, and bare it.
  29. Because it's just a job and it isn't really all that bad. And in the end we get to GTFO, get in our car, and ferociously sing Le Mis' "DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING" on the way home on our last day of work.
    And it. Is. Glorious. VIVA LA FRANCE. VIVA LA SUNDAY.