REASONS MY BOYFRIEND MIGHT BREAKUP WITH ME:

(dedicated to my mother who always believed in me)
  1. I'm sort of a bitch.
  2. I don't like baseball.
  3. I don't like sports.
  4. I'm sort of a bitch about how I don't like baseball or sports.
  5. I eat all our eggs.
  6. I'm always doing homework and boys don't like girls who always do their homework. I've learned this from the movie, Greece.
  7. I cry all the time. And then I eat all our eggs.
  8. I have problems expressing my feelings.
  9. I'm not blonde.
  10. We live in LA.
  11. Never, he's never gonna breakup with me because I'm incorrigible. And a catch. Like every grumpy yet irresistible lead on TV. I'm the House MD of penises.
  12. JK, I'M JUST TALKING THROUGH MY FEELINGS.
  13. But really, I'm fine.