REASONS MY BOYFRIEND MIGHT BREAKUP WITH ME:
(dedicated to my mother who always believed in me)
- •I'm sort of a bitch.
- •I don't like baseball.
- •I don't like sports.
- •I'm sort of a bitch about how I don't like baseball or sports.
- •I eat all our eggs.
- •I'm always doing homework and boys don't like girls who always do their homework. I've learned this from the movie, Greece.
- •I cry all the time. And then I eat all our eggs.
- •I have problems expressing my feelings.
- •I'm not blonde.
- •We live in LA.
- •Never, he's never gonna breakup with me because I'm incorrigible. And a catch. Like every grumpy yet irresistible lead on TV. I'm the House MD of penises.
- •JK, I'M JUST TALKING THROUGH MY FEELINGS.
- •But really, I'm fine.